You know those great decisions that aren't really decisions? When someone else decides something for you, or when you don't have a choice, or when it's not really a decision, it's a realization. That's what happened to me. The last one, that is.
And I know this is not a real decision because it is the worst decision I could have possibly chose to make in this situation. Because even though he doesn't like me, and even quite possibly hates me, I have come to the inevitable conclusion that I like him. PC, that is.
I don't really know what to think of this. On one hand, I think: "Well, that is just my luck. To pick the one guy in school who I've got zero chance with."
But the other part of me, the more depressed part of me, is saying: "It's your fault. You had your chance, and you screwed it up. He probably did like you and it's your fault that he no longer does,"
At this point, it probably doesn't even matter what's true or not. But what makes me sadder than the fact that I like someone who doesn't like me at all is the fact that I lost the chance to make a real friend. An intelligent and geniunely good person, one of the few in my school, and he's the one that hates me.
But then, I always was better at screwing things up than making things go right.
Angel
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